Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy of everyone else.
-William Rotsler

Sometimes I think I have felt everything I’m ever gonna feel. And from here on out, I’m not gonna feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I’ve already felt.

—Her (2013)

(Source: larmoyante)

Stop faking your fucking orgasms. Society already tells young men that they run the fucking universe - if they can’t turn your cunt into a shooting star then for god’s sake, let them know about it.

Daisy Lola (via fullybalanced)

always reblog

(via dirtyberd)

HOLLA

(via motherwanderlust)

(Source: sh-ocking)

geeknip:

literallyrad:

today there was a snowboard race at the resort i’m staying at and i’m a pretty decent snowboarder so i thought why not try right. so i wear all black just because it’s the only color i own and i ended up winning and when the announcer came over to me he said “dude! that was pretty awesome bro, what’s your name?” and i took my helmet off like in the movies and let my hair fall out and was like “caitlin” and everyone was liKE OOOOOOH

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small-person-racist:

earldacharmanda:

awesomephilia:

homophobia is stupid. who the hell is afraid of homes

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That movie fucking fucked me up. Don’t get me started on monster house. Like it’s a dead body in cement and the old guy dies??? What the shit??

(Source: dutchster)

appetisers:

HOW DO PEOPLE FALL ASLEEP SO FAST I DON’T UNDERSTAND I HAVE TO CREATE AND ACT OUT A WHOLE FUCKING MOVIE LENGTH STORY IN MY HEAD AND THEN CONTEMPLATE THE MEANING OF LIFE BEFORE I EVEN FEEL TIRED AND THIS BITCH STARTS SNORING IN TWO MINUTES

renirabbit:

fearliath:

do-i-smell-watermelon:

the bend

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and slap

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I don’t even watch Star Trek but that is the most graceful bitchslap I have ever seen.

this is amazing

kayliesaurusrex:

gambleorcs:

I was trying to explain to my grandma what being bisexual meant and saying that I looked at ladies butts and she was all
"You’re not GAY everyone checks out ladies rear ends" and my sister was like "I have never wanted to look at a ladies butt"
Later my grandma called me and was like “I THINK I MIGHT BE A LITTLE GAY”

BEST GRANDMA STORY

Anonymous asked:

Your dick is probably like a tic tac hahahahhahaha

flutterofitswings:

shwagerr:

That’s probably why your moms mouth is so fresh 

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!!!!!!

jakeenglishfromstatefarm:

moriarty:

me blogging

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IM SO FUCKING MAD I JUST MADE THAT EXACT FUCKING FACE GOD DAMNIT 

lopmon:

OMFG I JUS TYELLED IN CLASS

lopmon:

OMFG I JUS TYELLED IN CLASS

(Source: itscarts)

dorkykawaiidesu:

transdimensionalbeing:

thecreationmonster:

trilluminat1:

meenahtho:

until this year of high school i always laughed at these because i thought they were inaccurate, they are not. they are not at all inaccurate.

THE MIDDLE ONE. Omg.

American public school in one post

Why do they always want to go outside?!

because we are locked inside a building for 8 hours 5 days a week for 180 days of the year

(Source: whamboombamm)

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

ruinedchildhood:

Anna Kendrick Plays Ariel in Little Mermaid Parody on SNL [Video]

wordsanddiscords:

counterpurrs:

whatwouldthordo:

tatted-soldier:

BMO stares death in the face

I CAN NEVER GET OVER HOW FUCKING METAL THIS IS
IF YOU COULD TATTOO GIFS, I WOULD TATTOO THIS ENTIRELY ON MY BACK

HOW is this even remotely metal????

one sec guys, i need to rip my vital organs out of my back and die for a second. cross your fingers i just happen to land on my replacement organs and keep on living

wordsanddiscords:

counterpurrs:

whatwouldthordo:

tatted-soldier:

BMO stares death in the face

I CAN NEVER GET OVER HOW FUCKING METAL THIS IS

IF YOU COULD TATTOO GIFS, I WOULD TATTOO THIS ENTIRELY ON MY BACK

HOW is this even remotely metal????

one sec guys, i need to rip my vital organs out of my back and die for a second. cross your fingers i just happen to land on my replacement organs and keep on living

(Source: thespoonmissioner)